Pregnant With His Seed...

First, let me clear the air... I am not pregnant naturally...
I was speaking from a spiritual level and it's funny because natural birth is not the only birth possible. 

Here we go! 

LADIES!!! We MUST learn to SORE as EAGLES. (Let me explain) 
The female eagle is by far the greatest example of who we as WOMEN should be and the expectations we should have. Although the bible says, "He who findeth a good wife..."
Look at this. 

Female eagles always soar to the highest altitude, so high that when she gets ready, she can stop flapping and just drop. When seeking her mate, she stops flapping and JUST DROPS. Although, we shouldn't be looking for our mate... we show ourselves available when ready. This is where the test begins. She drops and drops and drops and when the male bald eagle sees her dropping... he'll scoop her up. The female eagle determines from here on out whether this is the "one." If he swoops her up and struggles to get her back up to the highest altitude, she then soars once again to the highest altitude (alone) and drops when she's ready (but not right away) and at some point (and again) another male eagle will try to scoop her up and if he's strong enough to scoop her without struggle.. they'll soar back to the highest altitude and together! If the male bald eagle becomes unsuccessful everytime... SHE WILL SOAR ALONE AT HER HIGHEST ALTITUDE UNTIL SHE'S READY TO DROP AGAIN!!! 

LADIES!!! There it is... that's a clear example that we have birds out here smarter than us!!! Our prices are far above rubies... therefore we should SOAR to our highest altitude before we let a man or another woman scoop us up... and if nothing becomes successful SOARING ALONE isn't WRONG!!! SOAR, SOAR, SOAR beyond your EARTHLY means... 

Now, on to the PREGNANCY thing... 
Here's how that goes... 
You have a woman that's pregnanT, in her first trimester... her body begins to experience some minor changes and by the time she reaches her last trimester... her body has experienced major changes. 

This is here and again, another example. 
God has planted some seeds on the inside of me and I'm ready to let them grow... minor changes are only the beginning and then on to the major changes. My body may or may not experience physical change BUT when a woman gets pregnant some things change -- bones shift, organs shift to accomodate this seed that is to be produced. Therefore, because GOD has planted these seeds on the inside of me... I have to go through the uncomfortability and change. The organs and bones shift; some ppl and things I have to push to the side and move around or rearrange or reposition, some ppl I have to let disentergrate and dissolve, some ppl I have to "throw up" and flush away... I'm pregnant with His seeds and He's only been waiting for me to give life to these things but when I'm constantly out in the world and NEVER RESTING in His Presence, I ONLY give my IMMUNE system, my FAITH a chance to malfunction, get sick or have a hard time producing. This is just things revealed to me... and well, it's a lot more out here to life then drinking, smoking, and clubbing. Believe or not, we ALL have lives outside of our own to live for... FOR GOD I LIVE and FOR HIM, I'LL DIE! 

I hope it didn't sound spooky or anything... that so wasn't my aim, but this is all reality that I'm starting to get a grip of.

Cry. Let it go. Stop fighting it.

Cry.
Cry. Let it go.
Cry. Let it go. Stop fighting it.

You're constantly reminded of the past you once lived... people.
Cry.

Think of where you've been, where you are and where you're going... you're still alive... life.
Let it go.

You may never forget but you can forgive... reality.
Stop fighting it.

Just because you're reminded doesn't mean live it twice. 

Sometimes the force becomes a bit too strong and we're forced to cry and let it all out. Why hold on to something that's no longer a part of you? Even when you know the grip is wearing... you still try to hold on to it, with hopes of "facing it." Just let it go! Whatever it is... so what! The more you know, the more you grow! Tell "it" how big your God is and stop telling God how big "it." Stop fighting it! It wasn't yours to begin with!

This is a process... that I'm learning to live... right... now!

U can too!

Forgive Yourself, Forgive Your Past

Good morning! Thank you for reading my blogs! They're just a meer expression of some things that I've encountered in my life! If I touch one person, that's all that matters!

As people we tend to hold on to things that have tragically happened in our past, but why? A lot of times it can have such a stronghold on us that we are allowing ourselves to fall victim to our past.

Unbeknownst to most, you're limiting what God wants to make happen in your life and often times we don't realize the effect that it has on us. Why continue to live in something that no longer exists? That's like wanting to stay in the hospital after surgery and they've discharged you. They discharged you will the proper tools that would assist in your full recovery, just as God has equipped us with the tools (bible, people, etc) to fully recover from any situation we face in life! (Man, that was so good to me right there!)

So, get up and stop falling victim to what is no longer a part of you, but allow your heavenly surgeon to open you up and rid you of your what you've fallen victim to. Medicate yourself in the word and surround yourself with people that are going to 'take care' of you as you begin your healing process. Ask what you don't know?! Put your pride away and ask for help!

With all that being said, forgive yourself and learn to love yourself first. If you don't, you won't allow anyone else to. First start with acknowledging the fact/s of your past that have caused you to be victimized for so long. Secondly, let it?/them go! Then begin to renew your mind in the word and in the spirit! What you can do now is, speak life to your NOW!!

Romans 4:17 KJV

(As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were.

It's a process it is... I'm living it... and... U can too! Be blessed!

What Are You Fighting For?

I was just skimming over some things and realized... most of the battles we end up fighting in our lives are battles that we CHOSE on our own.

Sometimes we get a clear view of what's in front of us and sometimes we don't. The times that we do... we ignore all the signs and red flags presented and then when we're faced with a challenge that creates out emotions to go haywire... we blame everyone else. Here are a few examples:

· You meet someone and become friends with them. They have talked to you about all their other friends... how could you once believe they aren't talkin about you to other ppl?
· That guy or girl that you've heard all of the stories about them being with this person and sleeping with so and so... everything you hear may not be tru, but why set yourself up for the drama associated with them?

Those are just a few examples. I could go on and on and on but I'm sure you can identify some situations in your life that could've once been avoided or can still be avoided. Get a grip before it's too late! This is a learning process and I'm learning! U can too!

Little Over Much, Much Over Little!

Yesterday I stumbled across this passage of scripture and it spoke to my spirit immediately and for this blog!

Philippians 4:10-14 MSG

I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

Simply stating... be content with what you have! My Pastor confirmed it all today! Chanel and Gucci don't make you who you are--you came into this world with NOTHING and Chanel and Gucci aren't going with you when you leave. The bible also says that God will give you the desires of your heart BUT only in His time! Find happiness in what you already possess. Be faithful over those things and God will bless you with more without you having to rob Peter to pay Paul just to have nice "stuff."

For the love of money is the root of evil! I choose to be content and go with the flow of the process! U can too!

Keep Your Coins, I Want Change!

As I sit here on the bus scrolling through my phone... I ran across this quote.

It spoke to me... so many people say they want change but it almost seems as though they're waiting for someone to give it to them. Nope, not gonna happen! God gave us a will for one reason... so that we'd use it!

Some people often say they want change... but words are simply just that... words! Words were designed to be spoken and heard. Somehow, spoken words can be hard to prove because they aren't words that you can actually see. You know that saying, "Talk is cheap." It's true. Talking doesn't last long and some ppl just like to hear themselves talk about the change they want with no action to show.

You have to change your way of thinking before any change can take place. Example, someone wants to stop smoking and they say (while holding a cigarette), "I'ma stop smoking after this pack is finished but God is gonna have to help me because I don't know what I'ma do to keep me from smackin a hoe." Did I say hoe? Lol. Well, I did. With that being said, their way of thinking is simply, if I don't have a cigarette on deck, I may commit an ill act as opposed to thinking of positive ways to deal with people. Another famous quote, "Easy said than done." 9 times of 10 until they change their thinking, they will never stop smoking.

That was just a simple example but it can be applied to anyone's situation/s. Change your mind. Change your thinking. Change your beliefs and your actions will change as part of the process. Make your own dreams come true! Keep your coins, cuz I want the real change! And yes, u can too!

From Dumps to Glory

2 full-time jobs, my own car and looking for a place... later.

During this time, I was attending church regularly, not a faithful tither, only when I had it and gave an offering every now and so often. I thought I was doing pretty well! So I thought! Slowly but surely, things started to dwindle down. One of my jobs couldn't accomodate my needs, so I had to do away with that job!

Now, I was down to 1 job, my own car and a rocky living situation. That was just a cut in my extra money. I was still doing well though. I would often, maybe 2-3 times a week (average) go to happy hour with my coworkers. It was something to... I mean shux... drinks were only $5! All I needed was $20 worth of drinks and a box on Wine Black & Milds and I was good... to... go! My favorite drink was the Strong Island Ice Tea. All the while, still attending church regularly.

Speeding the story up a bit... the day before Thanksgiving 2012, I crashed my car! Ugh, having had a few drinks prior to crashing, I didnt think that was the cause of my lack of paying attention. I don't know what it was... maybe I did. *shrugs* Moving on, now I didn't have a car but I still had my job and my living situation... the same.
Less than one month later, I was terminated from my job! Now, I was about to lose it! I was wrongfully terminated and didn't have a car aaaaaand my living situation was rocky. Now, God and I needed to have a talk. I was losing everything slowly but surely. From 2 full-time jobs and my own car to no car, no job in a matter of a couple of months! This wasn't right!

I started to realize that I had a problem... a compulsive drinking problem. I was becoming an alcoholic and I'd forgotten God in ALL of this. It took for me to lose what I had and to feel like I was on my last leg for me to get it together.

New Years came and I'm not a person that usually sets resolutions and so I didn't, but some things HAD to change.
After having gone through all of this, while going to church my Pastor would often mention in December that in January, he wanted the church as a whole to tithe faithfully. I immediately spoke to myself and agreed that I would. Now, my problem was, not having any income.

I started going to church and really applying myself, cut off some of my friends, stepped back from others and really started focusing on my relationship with God. I really did. I'd ceased my drinking and stopped smoking and was in my word on a regular basis. I started tithing off of any income I was receiving no matter what and started to step out on my faith for what I was believing God for.
Now a faithful tither and faithfully attending church as much as I can and applying myself. God has restored me and shown Himself true and even more available than I've ever paid attention to Him.

Being terminated saved my life! Smoking and drinking are no longer my life and even when I was receiving unemployment, I was tithing and promised to myself that I will nevee dishonor God in the financial area of my life again!

2 full-time jobs, my own car and a rocky living situation... later. Now, I'm a Federal Government employee making $5,800 more than the job that terminated me! My relationship with God is constantly growing and I'm even more sensitive to the voice of Holy Spirit! I say thanks to the job that THOUGHT they'd make my life miserable! I can only go UP from here... and you, yes YOU... U GOT NOW!

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

Welcome to my new blogspot inspired by a dear friend of mine! Truth be told, I'd never imagined myself sharing such info, but what's there to be ashamed of if it will help the life of someone else?!

I will be sharing daily thoughts and even bits and pieces of my life story here! You may know my name... but my story is great also! Feel free to leave comments, post topic or even ask questions that you'd like for me to answer in a blog!

Truth Is... You Can Too!

The Vacation That Changed My Life!

For many years and many lonely nights, I often thought my life was over... Yes, I woke up everyday but my life was at a halt and slowly but surely deteriorating from the grips of my hands, BUT no one would've ever known I felt that way unless they knew me on an intimate level.

I tried and I tried to close my eyes and wish it were over... several times I tried and I tried to make it over on my own! So, that my eyes would never have to face the hurt and pain that this... my life had dealt me! This last time, I landed a 4 day vacation away from the world in a psych ward having attempted to take my own life at the power of my own hands; oh to the worst days of my life and then my eyes were OPEN to see that eyes wide shut isnt what I really wanted. Deep down inside, I didn't really want to go but deep down outside... I wanted out as my flesh couldn't take this pain anymore!

"I'd been hurt too much to have to continue to bare hurt any longer," I told the man that stood behind white hair and glasses. "Life is just too overwhelming, my mother and father aren't around and my family... they say they're there and they are... they're just there!" By this time, he'd thought I was crazy for real. I then realized, "wait, I just dug a whole for myself, this man probably really thinks I'm crazy." And so... he looks at me and as I'm quick to hear... he'd offered me meds that would help take the pain and bad thoughts away and I rejected. I'd seen too many crazy people movies and they didn't end too well. But I wanted my life to be over right?! WRONG!

Now, I was stuck because I'd been so hurt that I'd convinced this man, the doctor, that I really needed help! I needed help but no help that any doctor or nurse could prescribe.

All the whilst, I thought I was going home the second day in... I was wrong! I now started to panic that I would never get out. I went from smelling fresh air to being hospitalized with people that really needed help medicinal help in a matter of minutes; from old to young... I just didnt fit in here.

As I sat and listened to one girl's mother scream and fight with the nurses, "What have you done to my daughter? This is NOT my child! She always talks to me and why is she walking so slow! This is NOT the daughter I know! She won't even talk to me!" The man that stood behind the white hair and glasses had done this to her... I know he did and then it hit me!

"I'm not supposed to be here! I have to get me out of here before I'm stuck here forever!" Then, I... woke... up! My eyes were no longer blind by the power of darkness! I started to pray in the Spirit because I didn't know how I would get out of there! Two days later, after praying and worshipping in my room... I was released. Oh what the power of prayer and faith can do.

All of this to show me that God was there ALL along and before I even landed this vacation... I'd forgotten who He was in my life! All at the mental and emotional pain of a woman... I let her control my life and where I was headed... ALL because my heart had been broken, once and again and I allowed the devil to make me feel worthless and without cause.

May 26th, 2012: I declared that my past is over and that I wanted to be delivered from the life threatening hands of ol' Sir Lucifer and of course with some challenges along the way.... I can now say that I AM DELIVERED! God saved and spared my life! To know that I could still be on this vacation strung out on meds that would soon take over my life... she wasnt worth it! No longer will I be bound by my emotions triggered by any man or woman but I will stand and bat for my sisters and brothers that are lost in this "lifestyle." You too can be delivered! Yes! You can be delivered!

If you enjoyed my story... please feel free to subscribe to my blog as I will be sharing more as I walk this path.

Thanks for tuning in!!!

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